King of the Ping
Becoming a ping-pong champion may lead to a greater attraction from the opposite sex by the resultant increase in popularity, riches untold, and incredible stamina. The ping-pong player is the ultimate athlete. In this instance, however, ultimate is synonymous with the words coolest, most fit, and just plain sexiest. The ping-pong player: adored by all women, and envied by all men. Becoming a ping-pong champion is a dream not all are capable of dreaming, and even fewer people are capable of reaching that dream.
Think back to high school for a moment. Who was the coolest, the hippest, the grooviest dude in school? Who was the life of all the weekend parties? Who always said all the right things at the right times to all the most beautiful babes? Not the quarterback who could throw a football half a mile. Not the basketball player who could drain that buzzer beater from half court. Not the third baseman who could smack a baseball 420 feet over the center-field fence. No, none of these goofy wannabes could top the president of the Ping-Pong Club, who could spike a lightning-quick ping-pong ball at upwards of 30 miles per hour. The ping-pong champion always had the funniest jokes to tell, and the most gripping stories of near defeat to the Chinese man down the street. Everyone wanted to be the ping-pong champion, but no one wanted to face the humility of defeat after coming to the realization that they didn’t have what it took to become a ping-pong master.
Most children want to grow up to be firefighters, astronauts, or doctors because they want to do something “cool” and make lots of money doing it. It doesn’t take long for them to realize, however, that if they want to do something outrageously exciting with their life and make tons of money doing it, ping-pong is the profession to pursue. Even at a young age, an aspiring ping-pong star can make some quick money by hustling would-be ping-pongers on the streets. And later on down their ping-pong career, hundreds of thousands of dollars can be won in a single ping-pong tournament, and hundreds of thousands more can be made in endorsements. How many doctors are known to have endorsement deals with Nike?
With the quickness of a fox and the endurance of a gazelle, ping-pong players are the most in-shape athletes of them all. In order to be able to hold out in a down-to-the-wire match, a ping-pong champion must follow a very strict workout plan and diet. After starting out the day with a dozen egg whites and a single piece of toast on wheat bread, the athlete then runs half a marathon followed by a very rigorous mile swim using only the butterfly stroke. In order to stay at the top of the game, a ping-pong player has to keep in top physical shape. For lunch they have to eat three heads of lettuce and nothing else. After devouring their delicious lunch, and in order to build up powerful muscles used for that crushing forehand, they have to split logs with an axe for two hours without stopping. Later on, after inhaling their dinner of spinach, three Granny Smith apples and a 20 oz. steak cooked medium rare, they spend an hour continuing their hole being dug to China. This everyday diet and workout regimen will put the ping-pong player in the kind of shape any guy would die for, and any woman would kill for.
Becoming a ping-pong champion would be a dream come true for many seeking fame, fortune, and a hot body. After getting into supreme shape, gaining riches from winning a handful of tournaments, and becoming the coolest cat on the block, the ladies are sure to come running.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Deadline #18, Outline
Thesis statement: Becoming a ping-pong champion may lead to attraction from the opposite sex by the resultant increase in popularity, riches untold, and incredible stamina.
I. Popularity
II. Riches untold
III. Incredible stamina
Conclusion: Becoming a ping-pong champion may lead to attraction from the opposite sex by the resultant increase in popularity, riches untold, and incredible stamina.
I. Popularity
II. Riches untold
III. Incredible stamina
Conclusion: Becoming a ping-pong champion may lead to attraction from the opposite sex by the resultant increase in popularity, riches untold, and incredible stamina.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Deadline #16, Argument Essay
Bonds’ Blunder
If convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice, Barry Bonds’ title of home run champion should be revoked. Barry Bonds is one of the world’s most famous baseball players, and regarded by many as the best baseball player in history – but perhaps regarded by more as the biggest cheater in baseball history. One thing is for certain, however – Barry Bonds has definitely been the most controversial baseball player since 2003. An investigation into the company BALCO, designed “to expose threats to your health and the environment,” led to the unveiling of more than several prominent athletes who had used performance enhancing drugs. This also led to the suspicion that Bonds was knowingly using similar drugs after Victor Conte, founder of BALCO, revealed that Bonds was on his list of famous athletes he frequently worked with.
Bonds’ knowledge of taking performance enhancing drugs while employed by the San Francisco Giants should be more than enough to discredit his remarkable accomplishments over the past several years. From his climb up the all-time home run leader board, to his becoming the all-time home run leader and the single season home run leader with a crushing 763 and 73 home runs, respectively, his accomplishments should all be reviewed by, and voided by baseball’s commissioner, Bud Selig. To have a player, held in such high regard with all of his recent accomplishments, knowingly break well-known rules against using performance enhancing drugs, and lying under oath about being ignorant to the fact could be a very painful blow to Major League Baseball. Breaking the rule is bad enough, but lying about it under oath in court makes the case even more serious. Should a liar and a cheater be the source of inspiration and a role model for youngsters pursuing their goals of making it to the big leagues one day? Should a liar and a cheater be given the privilege of calling himself Major League Baseball’s all-time and single season home run champion?
Other athletes have had to cut their careers short and have even been revoked of their medals won at National and Worldwide competitions because of use of performance enhancing drugs, so why shouldn’t the same be said for Bonds? Why shouldn’t Bonds’ unofficial title of home run king be expunged? In fact, why shouldn’t Bonds be removed completely from Major League Baseball’s record books? Olympic gold medalist Marion Jones has plead guilty for her use of a drug called THG while still competing and, as a result, lost millions of dollars in endorsements. Jose Canseco’s career was cut short because of his use of steroids while playing baseball. Track star Eric Thomas had his “championship in the 400-meter hurdles” taken away from him in the World Championships for use of the drug modafinil. Bonds has become a huge disgrace to the sport that is as patriotic as apple pie and Chevrolet. People might ask, “Why would Barry Bonds, that same skinny Barry Bonds who won the Most Valuable Player award in 1990 for the Pittsburgh Pirates and who, at that time, already looked Hall of Fame worthy, want or possibly need to take steroids to try to improve his game?” Good question....
Barry Bonds, just like other athletes in whose footsteps he has followed, should face harsh punishment. To have the newly crowned home run king stripped of his crown, a clear message would be sent out to all athletes and aspiring athletes alike, that using performance enhancing drugs to get ahead will result in accusations; court appearances; revocation of medals, titles and awards; and possibly some jail time. Barry Bonds should not be able to have the luxury of being able to call himself Major League Baseball’s home run champion. However, he still has to be found guilty before we can go snatching up titles and awards.
If convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice, Barry Bonds’ title of home run champion should be revoked. Barry Bonds is one of the world’s most famous baseball players, and regarded by many as the best baseball player in history – but perhaps regarded by more as the biggest cheater in baseball history. One thing is for certain, however – Barry Bonds has definitely been the most controversial baseball player since 2003. An investigation into the company BALCO, designed “to expose threats to your health and the environment,” led to the unveiling of more than several prominent athletes who had used performance enhancing drugs. This also led to the suspicion that Bonds was knowingly using similar drugs after Victor Conte, founder of BALCO, revealed that Bonds was on his list of famous athletes he frequently worked with.
Bonds’ knowledge of taking performance enhancing drugs while employed by the San Francisco Giants should be more than enough to discredit his remarkable accomplishments over the past several years. From his climb up the all-time home run leader board, to his becoming the all-time home run leader and the single season home run leader with a crushing 763 and 73 home runs, respectively, his accomplishments should all be reviewed by, and voided by baseball’s commissioner, Bud Selig. To have a player, held in such high regard with all of his recent accomplishments, knowingly break well-known rules against using performance enhancing drugs, and lying under oath about being ignorant to the fact could be a very painful blow to Major League Baseball. Breaking the rule is bad enough, but lying about it under oath in court makes the case even more serious. Should a liar and a cheater be the source of inspiration and a role model for youngsters pursuing their goals of making it to the big leagues one day? Should a liar and a cheater be given the privilege of calling himself Major League Baseball’s all-time and single season home run champion?
Other athletes have had to cut their careers short and have even been revoked of their medals won at National and Worldwide competitions because of use of performance enhancing drugs, so why shouldn’t the same be said for Bonds? Why shouldn’t Bonds’ unofficial title of home run king be expunged? In fact, why shouldn’t Bonds be removed completely from Major League Baseball’s record books? Olympic gold medalist Marion Jones has plead guilty for her use of a drug called THG while still competing and, as a result, lost millions of dollars in endorsements. Jose Canseco’s career was cut short because of his use of steroids while playing baseball. Track star Eric Thomas had his “championship in the 400-meter hurdles” taken away from him in the World Championships for use of the drug modafinil. Bonds has become a huge disgrace to the sport that is as patriotic as apple pie and Chevrolet. People might ask, “Why would Barry Bonds, that same skinny Barry Bonds who won the Most Valuable Player award in 1990 for the Pittsburgh Pirates and who, at that time, already looked Hall of Fame worthy, want or possibly need to take steroids to try to improve his game?” Good question....
Barry Bonds, just like other athletes in whose footsteps he has followed, should face harsh punishment. To have the newly crowned home run king stripped of his crown, a clear message would be sent out to all athletes and aspiring athletes alike, that using performance enhancing drugs to get ahead will result in accusations; court appearances; revocation of medals, titles and awards; and possibly some jail time. Barry Bonds should not be able to have the luxury of being able to call himself Major League Baseball’s home run champion. However, he still has to be found guilty before we can go snatching up titles and awards.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Deadline #11, Two Paragraphs
1. A classification essay takes several different objects or subjects, and groups them into different categories. These different objects or subjects are grouped according to the qualities and the characteristics they share, or don’t share. Classification essays are nice for categorizing subjects, but categorizing too many subjects should be avoided.
2.
• “During the silent picture era, movie studios produced three main categories of films.” The fact that the author states that there are three main categories defines the essay as a classification-type essay.
• The topic sentence for the first body paragraph is, “Western films were very popular due to a number of factors.” The topic sentence for the second body paragraph is, “Another category of the film story line was the slapstick comedy.” The topic sentence for the last body paragraph is, “Romance films by far were the most popular due to several factors.”
• I think the author uses great examples to enhance her classification. The author uses names of directors, actresses, and even the titles of certain silent films, which is pretty impressive.
• The author’s use of transitions in this essay are kind of lacking, although he/she does use one transition to move fairly nicely from the second paragraph to the third paragraph. The transition used at the beginning of the third paragraph is, “Another,” which does the job, but seems a little bit choppy.
2.
• “During the silent picture era, movie studios produced three main categories of films.” The fact that the author states that there are three main categories defines the essay as a classification-type essay.
• The topic sentence for the first body paragraph is, “Western films were very popular due to a number of factors.” The topic sentence for the second body paragraph is, “Another category of the film story line was the slapstick comedy.” The topic sentence for the last body paragraph is, “Romance films by far were the most popular due to several factors.”
• I think the author uses great examples to enhance her classification. The author uses names of directors, actresses, and even the titles of certain silent films, which is pretty impressive.
• The author’s use of transitions in this essay are kind of lacking, although he/she does use one transition to move fairly nicely from the second paragraph to the third paragraph. The transition used at the beginning of the third paragraph is, “Another,” which does the job, but seems a little bit choppy.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Deadline #10, C/C Rough Draft
High school and the college life are like night and day. They’re poles apart. High school is like junior varsity, and college is like finally making it to the big varsity game. Even though high school and college are only months apart from one another, and are only one step apart from each other in the education process, they are nothing alike. In high school, the teachers tell you what to do and when to do it, whereas college professors expect their students to be responsible enough to do the work on their own. High school teachers make connections more on a personal level with their students, and college professors oftentimes do not even know their students names. And, obviously, one of the most important differences of high school and college is the expenses.
All throughout high school, students are told exactly what to do by their teachers. They are told what assignments need to be done, how they are to be done, and when they are supposed to be done. And if they aren’t done just how the teacher says to do it? Students then face consequences from detention to parent conferences. In college, however, a student is counted on to be responsible enough to do all the assignments that are assigned on time, and to the teachers’ expectations. If a student doesn’t do the assignments assigned on time in college, the only consequence is a bad grade. And thank heavens. Getting calls home for not doing homework can really become a pain.
Also, high school teachers tend to make more of a connection with their students. Because the class sizes tend to be smaller, the teachers in high school can get to know their students on more of a personal level. In some students’ cases, this also means that the teachers get to know the parents a little better too. On the flip side, college professors have bigger classes and have a harder time getting to know their students. Many college courses have upwards of a hundred people, so it can be pretty difficult for a professor to get to know each one of their students. For the student that feels like they need to be the center of attention, this sucks. But for the student that likes to lay low and not really be noticed or make a scene, this is the best.
The biggest difference in many students’ minds is the expenses. High school is basically expense free. Minus, of course, the trips out to lunch. And lost books. But other than that, high school is pretty much expense-free. High school seems so blissful compared to college. The years spent in high school seem worry-free, because of the College is a completely different story though. In college, there are so many things to be paid for. Books need to be paid for, taking the classes themselves need to be paid for, food needs to be paid for, and a place to live needs to be paid for. And typically, the general allowance dealt out by parents is cut because the student is now “on their own,” so students also now need money for wide-ranging weekend purposes and dates.
It’s funny how the perception of high school and college seem to be so similar. The fact remains that, while students are getting prepared for college their entire lives through elementary school, junior high or middle school, and high school, the typical student isn’t ever completely ready for college. A student may be academically ready for the change, but the social change from high school to college is something that students always have to get used to. From changes in teacher behavior to changes in the expenses of school, students always have some getting used to.
All throughout high school, students are told exactly what to do by their teachers. They are told what assignments need to be done, how they are to be done, and when they are supposed to be done. And if they aren’t done just how the teacher says to do it? Students then face consequences from detention to parent conferences. In college, however, a student is counted on to be responsible enough to do all the assignments that are assigned on time, and to the teachers’ expectations. If a student doesn’t do the assignments assigned on time in college, the only consequence is a bad grade. And thank heavens. Getting calls home for not doing homework can really become a pain.
Also, high school teachers tend to make more of a connection with their students. Because the class sizes tend to be smaller, the teachers in high school can get to know their students on more of a personal level. In some students’ cases, this also means that the teachers get to know the parents a little better too. On the flip side, college professors have bigger classes and have a harder time getting to know their students. Many college courses have upwards of a hundred people, so it can be pretty difficult for a professor to get to know each one of their students. For the student that feels like they need to be the center of attention, this sucks. But for the student that likes to lay low and not really be noticed or make a scene, this is the best.
The biggest difference in many students’ minds is the expenses. High school is basically expense free. Minus, of course, the trips out to lunch. And lost books. But other than that, high school is pretty much expense-free. High school seems so blissful compared to college. The years spent in high school seem worry-free, because of the College is a completely different story though. In college, there are so many things to be paid for. Books need to be paid for, taking the classes themselves need to be paid for, food needs to be paid for, and a place to live needs to be paid for. And typically, the general allowance dealt out by parents is cut because the student is now “on their own,” so students also now need money for wide-ranging weekend purposes and dates.
It’s funny how the perception of high school and college seem to be so similar. The fact remains that, while students are getting prepared for college their entire lives through elementary school, junior high or middle school, and high school, the typical student isn’t ever completely ready for college. A student may be academically ready for the change, but the social change from high school to college is something that students always have to get used to. From changes in teacher behavior to changes in the expenses of school, students always have some getting used to.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Deadline #9, Outline
Thesis: College and high school, despite being only twelve months apart from each other and simply the next step in the schooling process, are very different from one another.
I. College is more independent study, whereas high school is much stricter. Teachers tell you what to do and when to do it in high school.
II. College professors oftentimes do not know their students names. High school teachers make a connection with their students like most other college professors wouldn’t.
III. College is the first time a student needs to worry about expenses, unless they previously went to a private school.
Conclusion: College and high school, despite being only twelve months apart from each other and simple the next step in the schooling process, are very different from one another.
I. College is more independent study, whereas high school is much stricter. Teachers tell you what to do and when to do it in high school.
II. College professors oftentimes do not know their students names. High school teachers make a connection with their students like most other college professors wouldn’t.
III. College is the first time a student needs to worry about expenses, unless they previously went to a private school.
Conclusion: College and high school, despite being only twelve months apart from each other and simple the next step in the schooling process, are very different from one another.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Deadline #8, Com / Con
• Compare and contrast essays explain either similarities or differences between two people, places, objects, or ideas in order to explain or clarify one or the other. One way to organize a comparison and/or a contrast essay is the block or thought-grouped method. Another method of organizing a comparison and/or a contrast essay is the point-by-point or alternating method.
•
1. The thesis of this essay is the last sentence in the opening paragraph, which states, “There are two main types of men in the world: the committer and the non-committer.”
2. This essay is organized in a block pattern.
3. I think the author uses excellent examples to point out the differences between the two types of men. The examples the author uses are funny and seem to be pretty relatively accurate.
4. The author only uses a couple transitions (unlike and however) to help the reader move back and forth between the discussions of the two types of men. Other than that, the author simply jumps from the one type of man to the other.
5. The tone of the author in this essay was playful. The author pointed out the stereotypical features of two types of men in a sort of silly way.
•
1. The thesis of this essay is the last sentence in the opening paragraph, which states, “There are two main types of men in the world: the committer and the non-committer.”
2. This essay is organized in a block pattern.
3. I think the author uses excellent examples to point out the differences between the two types of men. The examples the author uses are funny and seem to be pretty relatively accurate.
4. The author only uses a couple transitions (unlike and however) to help the reader move back and forth between the discussions of the two types of men. Other than that, the author simply jumps from the one type of man to the other.
5. The tone of the author in this essay was playful. The author pointed out the stereotypical features of two types of men in a sort of silly way.
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